"We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way" (Natasha Bedingfield)

Sometimes the only way to not make a mistake, is to have made it previously.

When I started knitting, I used to worry about making mistakes, I would become frustrated with myself when I dropped a stitch. Initially my fear was that I wouldn't be able to correct my mistakes, so I felt foolish for making them, like no-one else ever made mistakes. 

Several times, rather than ask for help, I would even unravel the entire piece of knitting rather than admit I had made a mistake. I would rather rip it up and start again, than reach out to someone who could help me. This was particularly true if it was not the first time I had made the mistake.

We've forgotten all the times we fell down when we were learning to walk. But we need to have just as much patience with ourselves now as our parents did then when we learn something new. We  have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and encourage ourselves. Try again.  

With time we learn which mistakes we need to fix, the ones that left unattended would cause our work to unravel, and which mistakes are so minor that we can ignore them. The minor mistakes that we can make peace with,  embellish with a button or a patch, or even turn into a feature of our work.

We learn first to reach out and ask for help, from someone who has been there and made that mistake themselves. Over time, we learn to fix it ourselves, to pick up that dropped stitch, to pull back a few rows if needed. With practise we come to recognise the signs when we are about to make that mistake, and we can avoid making it in the first place.

And if we learn how to fix our mistakes and how to pick ourselves (and not just our dropped stitches) back up, we can knit on because we know we will handle it!

Purlgirl xx

"Your current safe boundaries now were once unknown frontiers" (anon)

Expanding our horizons

This quote reminds me that there are always new experiences out there.

This year I celebrated my birthday by going for an early morning swim at the outdoor pool near my house before going to work. In September I will be going on a dance holiday for a whole week in Ibiza. Two years ago I couldn't have visualised doing either of those things - I told myself I couldn't swim, and I had only just signed up for my first dance weekender. 

Then I visited my friend Nadean in Turkey and discovered that for someone who couldn't swim, I'm quite the waterbaby, and discovered that dancing til dawn on a weekend away is utter bliss, so what could be better than a week of dancing in Ibiza? (there's a pool at the hotel, too, so I'll need to practise my swimming for September!)

I have recently finished knitting a hood with cables, something else I would never have envisaged myself doing a few years ago. The first few times I came across cables, I couldn't get my head around them, and the first time I attempted them, I wasn't successful. 

But then I found a pattern for a hood with cables, and I loved the pattern so much I was inspired and motivated to knit the hood, which meant I had to conquer my fear of cables. 

And now that I have become comfortable knitting cables, I want to learn to do lace patterns next. 

In 2010, I signed up to my first 5k Race for Life in Bristol, and this year is the 3rd year in a row I have done it. The first year we did it in 44 minutes, last year I did it in 42, and this year my friend Kathryn and I did it in under 40 minutes. And now that I know I can do the 5k, I want to try the 10k next year! 

We take it for granted that children will learn to walk, even though it can take babies up to 2 years to learn, but those baby steps are just the beginning, and what starts out as crawling, eventually turns into walking and skipping and running. 

We may feel comfortable where we are now, but really, in some aspects of our lives, we are just learning to walk. We may even still just be beginning to crawl, but if we remember that we learned to walk and talk, we can have faith that we will get better as long as we persist. 

We may not always be able to see the improvement with every attempt, but if we stick with it, we will find that moment when it all comes together. 

That's when we lift up our eyes to the horizon to seek the next unknown frontier to explore and conquer. 

Purlgirl xx

“Today is the future I created yesterday” (Louise Hay)

Visualising who we want to be

Recently I celebrated my 10 year anniversary of moving to the UK. Growing up, I always knew that I was going to live in the UK. I didn’t know how, I just did.

Had you asked me at 17 where I saw my future self, I would have told you I would be living in the UK - I know, because a friend recently told me that's all I talked about when I was in High School. I even checked what I wrote in my year book when I was home with my parents over Christmas, and there it was in black and white, "In ten years I see myself living in the English countryside, with my English husband and our three children".

Well, one of out three isn't bad! (I guess Oxford could qualify for the English countryside)

4 years ago, I knew I wanted to work in Publishing. I had no particular proof, I just knew it.

So I talked about it, imagined it, visualised it, asked myself what steps I needed to take to get there. I even had a back-up plan; if I didn't get the job I really wanted - the one I am in now - I would go back to Bristol and approach it from a different angle, to get the experience I needed to get into Publishing.

And suddenly, I found myself where I had wanted to be.

I think the best way to illustrate how we can live up to our vision, though, is through my friend Sarah, who has slimmed down, and dropped 3 dress sizes this year. One day we looked at her and saw a new person - she had to get used to being that new sporty, active, healthy person.

We need to live ourselves into the new person we are becoming, and bear in mind what we are aiming for, and just like a knitted pattern, we start to take shape, and suddenly we can visualise what it is going to look like.

The transformation itself happens gradually.

Realising how much we have changed strikes us like a flash of lightning.

Purlgirl xx

"Welcome to wherever you are, this is your life, you've made it this far" (Bon Jovi)

Leaving it as we would wish to find it

When we read a book, a bookmark allows us to mark the place we had reached, so that we can put the book down in the confidence that we will be able to find our place and continue reading. 

I realised recently that there is a great delight to be had in knowing that when I pick up my knitting, I can simply continue where I left off, be it the start of a new row, or a new section of my pattern. My little knitting notebook helps me to keep track of where I am and what I have to do next, and serves as a guide to the next step. 


We need not complete the task at hand in one sitting, however, we need to leave off at a point where we will know where we are when we come back to it. 

Whether it's packing our handbag in readiness for work the night before, or finding out where everything lives and returning it to its home, we feel a sense of peace when we leave it behind. And when we come back, we can see how far we have come. We know where we are and we can move forward. 

If we leave everything as we wish to find it, it's as if we are bookmarking our lives, we can see how far we have come, and we give ourselves the energy/motivation to carry on. 

Though it may not be complete, leave nothing unfinished.

Where are you right now? 

Purlgirl xx

"Angels fly because they carry themselves lightly." (Gilbert K. Chesterton)

Letting go of what we no longer need

If I no longer love my yarn, it's up to me to give it away and let someone else discover it for their own new project. 

There is only so much time, and we need to let go, let go of the projects that we once thought we would knit, let go of the wool we no longer love, and let go of the thoughts we no longer need. 

We let go by realising what we truly need, not what we must let go of, and once we can see what we need, and we find space for it, the rest falls away easily. 

I have been spring cleaning this week, and this time my focus has not been just on tidying my room, but on organising my room, on finding where everything lives, even if perhaps that's not where I would expect others to put it.

And sometimes when we clear out our wardrobes, we clear out the old thoughts in our minds, too, and we make space for the future.  

Purlgirl xx

"Champion the right to be yourself, dare to be different and to set your own pattern, live your own life and follow your own star." (Wilferd A. Peterson)

Discovering who we are

I am learning to find out for myself what I believe, what I stand for, and what suits me. 

I realised a little while ago, that recreating what others say or do, only gets me part of the way to where I want to be. It took some time to realise that I not only had to find my own style, I had to find my own voice, too. And that what nurtures my soul, is unique to me, and only I can truly know what my limits are. 

Losing sight of that recently, left me temporarily off-balance. It brought home to me how important it is to recognise that what is true for others isn't necessarily true for us, in the same way that an outfit that suits our friend, will not necessarily fit us the way we want it to.  

We could try it on, and find a new element to add to our own style, but realise that when we look in the mirror, WE make the final decision on whether or not it fits or suits us.

We wouldn't wear the same clothes as someone else, why would we wear the same lifestyle or thoughts? 

Listen to your heart, be true to you. 

Purlgirl xx

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." (Louisa May Alcott)

Rising to the challenge

Joining a knitting group has given me the confidence to try more intricate patterns. Because if I watch others for long enough, I start to believe I can do it, too. 

Sometimes you forget that others had to start where you were, and that they have been knitting for 50 years, or even just devoted more time to it. But by being with them, in their presence, you learn not only how to fix your own mistakes, but how to aim higher, to rise to new challenges. 

Being with others gives you role models, people to aspire to, and in time, you may look up and find that you are providing inspiration to others.  

Purlgirl xx