One stitch enough for me*
Since last summer, I have been working on improving my swimming. My initial aim was so that I could go swimming when I flew home to Namibia at Christmas, now it's so that I can have fun in the pool in Ibiza in September!
I took private swimming lessons last year and thought that would teach me to swim. Now I realise, that was only the starting point, the rest was up to me.
I have been going to the outdoor pool near my house regularly last summer and this summer, and although I would try to swim a whole length, I was frustrated that I would reach the halfway point, and no further, I would put my feet down and stop. I was so focussed on the end result, I let myself be scared by how much further I had to go.
But sometimes all we need is that next step that moves us on. For me it has been being willing to persevere and go to the pool at least once a week, and to keep practising, even if I didn't make the whole length. I decided that just spending time in the water would improve my confidence and just spending time in this beautiful place was restorative. Some nights I even just sat on the sidelines and observed others, soaking in the atmosphere.
And then my friends Cally and Sarah decided to join me one Friday evening. Their acceptance of my ability, and their willingness to swim over to my side of the pool and be in the same place as me, encouraged me to keep persevering.
We just splashed around and laughed and enjoyed the moment, and this has created happy memories about going swimming with others. At first I valued the solitude, and the peacefulness of the venue, now I am beginning to associate it with enjoyment.
On Wednesday, I had a breakthrough. I realised that focussing on the end point when I reached the halfway point was taking me out of the moment and that when I got there, what I needed to do was to forget about reaching the wall and just focus on my stroke, on each breath, on where I was. And suddenly, I looked up and realised I was nearly there and my second wind kicked in to see me through.
The first time I really remember noticing this was when I did Race for life last June. I did the 5k, on my own, which can be more challenging because when there are two of you, you take turns encouraging each other to keep going. The marshalls along the way are supportive and that helps, but I can still remember how I felt when I looked up and realised I had just the last 200m to go to the finishing line, and that I was actually going to make it. At that moment, I didn't care what my time was, or how many people had crossed that line ahead of me, it was enough for me to finish the race.
When we feel unsure or stuck, we just need to find that next step that moves us on. Find that next pattern, try something a little bit more intricate, a little bit more challenging, each time. Eventually we will see the whole ladder, but for now one step at a time is enough.
The Japanese call it Kaizen, continual improvement, but it's also climbing that mountain one step at a time.
Purlgirl xx
The Japanese call it Kaizen, continual improvement, but it's also climbing that mountain one step at a time.
Purlgirl xx
* adapted from John Henry Newman's hymn, Lead Kindly Light - one step enough for me:
"Lead, kindly Light...Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me"
